How Well do you Know Your Personality

Each one of us has our own different personality. These differences makes us unique and it affects how we deal with other people. These differences spices our friendship, stretches our patience with our relationships and makes life more exciting being with other people. But these differences with our personality also creates misunderstandings, petty quarrels or even worse. In order to understand and deal with other people, we must first understand ourselves and try to determine our strengths and weaknesses, through these, we can better understand other people and make a compromise for a better relationship.

One tool in determining our personality is the Enneagram Personality Theory. It is an introspective tool, a psycho dynamic model of nine types. From one point of view, the Enneagram can be seen as a set of nine distinct personality types, with each number on the Enneagram denoting one type. It is common to find a little of yourself in all nine of the types, although one of them should stand out as being closest to yourself. This is your basic personality type.

Here's the basic personality traits of the nine personality types I compiled.

These are some of the variations of the names of the Ennea-types, or sometimes they are referred to simply just by number.

One: Perfectionist or Reformer

Two: Helper or Giver

Three: Performer, Producer or Achiever

Four: Tragic Romantic, Individualist or Connoisseur

Five: Observer ... Investigator ... Sage

Six: Devil's Advocate ... Loyalist ... Troubleshooter ... Guardian

Seven: Epicure ... Enthusiast ... Visionary ... Dreamer ... Generalist

Eight: Boss ... Top Dog ... Challenger ... Confronter

Nine: Mediator ... Peacemaker ... Preservationist

Type One “Reformer” does everything right away, produces order and is principled, purposeful, self-controlled, and perfectionistic.

Ego fixation: resentment

Holy idea: perfection

Passion/Vice: anger

Virtue: serenity

How to get along with type One personality

• Take your share of the responsibility so I don't end up with all the work.

• Acknowledge my achievements.

• I'm hard on myself. Reassure me that I'm fine the way I am.

• Tell me that you value my advice.

• Be fair and considerate, as I am.

• Apologize if you have been unthoughtful. It will help me to forgive.

• Gently encourage me to lighten up and to laugh at myself when I get uptight, but hear my worries first.

Type Two "Helper" always helps others and is demonstrative, generous, people-pleasing and possessive.

Ego fixation: flattery
Holy idea: freedom
Passion/Vice: pride
Virtue: humility

How to get along with type Two personality

• Tell me that you appreciate me. Be specific.

• Share fun times with me.

• Take an interest in my problems, though I will probably try to focus on yours.

• Let me know that I am important and special to you.

• Be gentle if you decide to criticize me.

Type Three “Motivator” desires success and is adaptive, excelling, driven, and image-conscious.

Ego fixation: vanity
Holy idea: hope
Passion/Vice: deceit
Virtue: truthfulness

How to get along with type Three personality

• Leave me alone when I am doing my work.

• Give me honest, but not unduly critical or judgmental, feedback.

• Help me keep my environment harmonious and peaceful.

• Don't burden me with negative emotions.

• Tell me you like being around me.

• Tell me when you're proud of me or my accomplishments.

Type Four "Tragic Romantic" wants to be unique and expressive, dramatic, self-absorbed and temperamental.

Ego fixation: melancholy

Holy idea: origin

Passion/Vice: envy

Virtue: equanimity

How to get along with type Four personality

• Give me plenty of compliments. They mean a lot to me.

• Be a supportive friend or partner. Help me to learn to love and value myself.

• Respect me for my special gifts of intuition and vision.

• Though I don't always want to be cheered up when I'm feeling melancholy, I sometimes like to have someone lighten me up a little.

• Don't tell me I'm too sensitive or that I'm overreacting!

Type Five “Thinker” needs to understand the world and is perceptive, innovative, secretive, and isolated.

Ego fixation: stinginess

Holy idea: omniscience

Passion/Vice: avarice

Virtue: detachment

How to get along with type Five personality

• Be independent, not clingy.

• Speak in a straightforward and brief manner.

• I need time alone to process my feelings and thoughts.

• Remember that If I seem aloof, distant, or arrogant, it may be that I am feeling uncomfortable.

• Make me feel welcome, but not too intensely, or I might doubt your sincerity.

• If I become irritated when I have to repeat things, it may be because it was such an effort to get my thoughts out in the first place.

• don't come on like a bulldozer.

• Help me to avoid my pet peeves: big parties, other people's loud music, overdone emotions, and intrusions on my privacy.

Type Six “Skeptic” shows affection and is engaging, responsible, anxious, and suspicious.

Ego fixation: cowardice

Holy idea: faith

Passion/Vice: fear

Virtue: courage

How to get along with type Six personality

• Be direct and clear.

• Listen to me carefully.

• Don't judge me for my anxiety.

• Work things through with me.

• Reassure me that everything is OK between us.

• Laugh and make jokes with me.

• Gently push me toward new experiences.

• Try not to overreact to my overreacting.

Type Seven “Enthusiast” enjoys and is open to new things, spontaneous, versatile, distractible, and scattered.

Holy idea: work

Passion/Vice: gluttony

Virtue: sobriety

How to get along with type Seven personality

• Give me companionship, affection, and freedom.

• Engage with me in stimulating conversation and laughter.

• Appreciate my grand visions and listen to my stories.

• Don't try to change my style. Accept me the way I am.

• Be responsible for yourself. I dislike clingy or needy people.

• Don't tell me what to do.

Type Eight “Leader” desires strength and is self-confident, decisive, willful, and confrontational.

Ego fixation: vengeance

Holy idea: truth

Passion/Vice: excess (lust)

Virtue: innocence

How to get along with type Eight personality

• Stand up for yourself... and me.

• Be confident, strong, and direct.

• Don't gossip about me or betray my trust.

• Be vulnerable and share your feelings. See and acknowledge my tender, vulnerable side.

• Give me space to be alone.

• Acknowledge the contributions I make, but don't flatter me.

• I often speak in an assertive way. Don't automatically assume it's a personal attack.

• When I scream, curse, and stomp around, try to remember that's just the way I am.

Type Nine “Peacemaker” longs peacefulness and is receptive, reassuring, agreeable, and complacent.

Ego fixation: indolence

Holy idea: love

Passion/Vice: laziness (sloth)

How to get along with type Nine personality

• If you want me to do something, how you ask is important. I especially don't like expectations or pressure.

• I like to listen and to be of service, but don't take advantage of this.

• Listen until I finish speaking, even though I meander a bit.

• Give me time to finish things and make decisions. It's OK to nudge me gently and non judgmentally.

• Ask me questions to help me get clear.

• Tell me when you like how I look. I'm not averse to flattery.

• Hug me, show physical affection. It opens me up to my feelings.

• I like a good discussion but not a confrontation.

• Let me know you like what I've done or said.

• Laugh with me and share in my enjoyment of life.

Want to know more about your own Personality? Try this short personality quiz.