Life's Simple Lessons

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a
towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob,
the next-door neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that
towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and
stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800
and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back
upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It
was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. Great!" the husband
says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with
your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent
avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs,
forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his
hand.

But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun
once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized
"Sorry Sister, but the flesh is weak."

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.
It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story:

If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great
opportunity.

Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to
lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of
you just one wish!"

"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the
Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Pouff!
She's gone.

"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii ,
relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of
Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Pouff! He's gone.

"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I
want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story:

Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit
saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do
nothing?"

The eagle answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground
below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped
on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high
up.

Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to
the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the
energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the
bull. "They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him
enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second
branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched
at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot
him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:

Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the
bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was
lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to
realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He
lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A
passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following
the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung,
and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:

(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!


This was sent to me through my yahoo groups - funny but true. So i think it's worth posting to my blog.

Life's Blessings

We can always hear ourselves or other people complaining just about anything and everything. What we have is oftentimes not enough, and we have an endless list of the things we wish to acquire. But at some point in our lives, did we ever consider how blessed and lucky we are and appreciate the simple and common things we often neglect? Try to contemplate on the following information and feel blessed for the things we have.

If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep, you are richer than 75% of this world.

If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and a spare change in a dish someplace, you are the top 8% of the worlds wealthy.

If you woke up this morning with more good health than illness, you are more blessed than the million who will not survive this week

If you never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the anguish of personal loss and the pangs of hunger, you are ahead of 500 million people in the world

If you can attend a church meeting without fear of harassment, arrest, torture or death, you are more blessed than 3 billion people in the world

If you can hold smeone's hand, hug your friend or even touch them on the shoulder, you are blessed because you are able to offer healing touch

If you can read this message, you are belssed than over 2 billion people that can't read at all.

My Four Best Authors

Reading is one of my interests. Well, before I starting working on a night shift because you can't just have enough time for yourself if your wide awake at night (except for those times I am caught sleeping during office hours LOL) and sleeping through the day. Though occasionally, I still find time to read good books. I basically read anything and everything with the exception of romance novels and medical related books or articles because I just can't relate to them but my favorite is horror books.

When reading novels, I'm not really particular with the authors, as long as I enjoy the story but you really can't avoid having favorites.

I actually have four favorite authors with with respective genre of writing.

Christopher Pike, a pseudonym for Kevin McFadded is my very first favorite author. An American writer born on November 1954 in New York but grew up in California. McFadden is a highly private person and the only known information about him is only gathered from his books and a very few interviews. He writes about young-adult science fiction, horror and thriller “not so long stories” which is at that time good for those who just started to get interested in reading pocket books like me. I just love the stories he is writing in his book and I just wish to be able to read all his books but It's hard to find it in book rental shops and “second hand” book shops (since buying brand new books is a little expensive).

Being a college drop-out, he did factory work, painted houses and programmed computers before becoming a recognized author. Initially unsuccessful when he set out to write science fiction and adult mystery, it was not until his work caught the attention of an editor who suggested he write a teen thriller that he became a hit. The result was his first book the Slumber Party (1985), a book about a group of teenagers who run into bizarre and violent events during a ski weekend. Although his books are best known for being thrillers, they are often more focused on aspects of science fiction, spirituality, and whodunit. References to Egyptian, Greek and Hindu mythology are also common in his stories. He is also the author of of the popular children's series Spooksville.

Sidney Sheldon or Sidney Schechtel, born on February 11, 1917 and died at the age of 89 on January 30, 2007. He was born in Chicago, Illinois,a famous and Academy Award-winning American writer who won awards in three careers: a Broadway playwright, a Hollywood TV and movie screenwriter, and a best-selling novelist.

In 1969, Sheldon wrote his first novel, The Naked Face, which earned him a nomination for the Edgar Allan Poe Award from the Mystery Writers of America in the category of Best First Novel.

Sidney Sheldon's writing genre are Crime-fiction and Thriller. His stories often features strong and determined women who persevere and succeeds in a tough world run by hostile men. When asked why, he said that he liked to write about women who are talented and capable, but most important, retain their femininity. He also said that omen have tremendous power which is their femininity which men can't do without it.

V. C. Andrews or Virginia C. Andrews, is a known name for Cleo Virginia Andrews. An American Novelist born June 6, 1923 in Portsmouth, Virginia and died at the age of 63 on December 19, 1986 of breast cancer. Her stories involves very strong emotions and I can sometimes find myself crying while reading her novels.

Her first novel, titled Gods of Green Mountain, was a science fiction effort that remained unpublished during her lifetime but was released as an e-book in 2004.A writer of Gothic Horror and Family saga, her novels often revolves around family secrets and forbidden love involving themes of consensual incest and often which led to many critics claiming that her writing style was eccentric and immoral. She earned many awards and one of which is The Number One Best selling Author of Popular Horror and Occult Paperbacks" by the American Booksellers Association in 1986, beating out Stephen King.

Clive Cussler is a writer of adventure novels which features the adventures of Dirk Pitt. Born in Aurora, Illinois and grew up in Alhambra, California. He attended Pasadena City College for two years and then enlisted in the United States Air Force during the Korean War. During his service in the Air Force he was promoted to Sergeant and worked as an aircraft mechanic and flight engineer for the Military Air Transport Service.

Clive Cussler's life nearly parallels that of his hero in his books Dirk Pitt. He divides his time between the desserts of Arizona and the mountains of Colorado searching for lost aircraft or leads expeditions to find famous shipwrecks.

Cussler is a fellow of the Explorers Club of New York, the Royal Geographic Society in London, and the American Society of Oceanographers.

Life's Simple Instruction

I've been collecting poems, quotations, inspirational messages and the like since my high school days. So, here's a list of some which I think worth sharing.

Most of these passages were collected way back before in high school and early college that there's no way I could remember where I got them.

Thoughts to Live By

• True friends will make fun of what you do but support you all the way.Acquaintances will praise your work then not give a damn.
• The only permanent thing in life is change, the sooner you'll accept that, the sooner you'll be happy.
• Don't talk unless you can improve the silence.
• There's no shortcuts to any place worth going to.
• Always be friendly to people on your way to the top. You are going to meet them again on your way down.
• You were never a failure, unless you blame someone else.
• The teacher you hate the most, gives you the worst grades, doesn't credit you for your efforts and can't be bought. He goes by the name “Experience”.
• Cry him/her a river. Then build a bridge and walk over it. You may have to repeat the “procedure” a couple of times before you can stop building bridges.
• If you don't have anything nice to say about your neighbor, it's best to shut up. Keep things to yourself and walk away. “Why destroy other person's image when you yourself have to work on your own.
• You can cry over spilled milk but just make sure to clean up afterward.

On a Lighter Side

• You're never too old to learn something stupid
• Never miss a good chance to shut up
• Don't run, you'll just die tired.
• The number of people is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
• Never take life seriously, nobody gets out alive anyway.

Remembrance from the Past

This poem was written nearly ten years ago and is actually the very first poem I have ever written (this was the time when I was still a hopeless romantic teen. LOL) for the purpose of "officially" putting an end to whatever that's been bugging my mind and to finally say goodbye to someone who used to be a special friend. Sadly, I didn't have the time and the courage to give it to that person.
This is also the first time that I am letting other people actually read it, so, here it goes:

Here I am
Trying to be poetic as I can
Writing things I never thought I can

Remembering the things we've shared and done
I realized that there are still so many words and deeds
Left unsaid and undone

Learning to let you go
Was the hardest thing for me to do
For you are one of the best persons I've known

You taught me things that can never be found in books
Opened my eyes into life's realities
And helped me how to conquer life's difficulties

With you I found true happiness
Friendship that was pure and true
And left me with memories that will be forever cherished

But now I must face the truth
That you're gone and on your separate way
And I must go on with my life's journey

This simple poem may not fully explain
Everything that I want to tell
But this I offer you

To let you know how much you meant to me
And thank you for touching my life
Making me the person I am right now

This I promise and assure you
That you'll always be a part of me and to forget you
Is the last thing that I would do

Lastly, I want to say goodbye
Hoping that you'll never forget me
For your memories will always be with me.